There’s no other perfect place but the beach (Lemery, Batangas)

Being the adventurous and free-spirited that we are, I and my family decided to take a week-end get-away to the beach which is also a celebration for my brother’s 24th birthday.

The beach presented itself a grandeur formation of crystal drops that are seemingly coming from the hovering grayish-blue sky above. The sun, on the other hand, seems to be over friendly as it hides it scorching heat sparing our skin to get burned.

Even though it wasn’t a white-sand beach, at least there’s a li’l boat that can be used for some wave adventure. Plus the view from the other side is just equally magnificent.

What’s also good about being in the beach is that you can write anything with your bare feet and it looks utterly cute and dainty.

My slippers are having a good time, too.

What else is good about the beach is its being so friendly with kids who can freely play around and while being constantly amazed why the waves keep getting back and forth.

And yes, how about some kicks and acrobats in the water?

These folks just caught a school of fish! Yipeee!

No, these fish did not come from the beach. We bought it from the market. We could have tried fishing, though. But we’re just too busy playing and enjoying the waters that we didn’t mind getting to the middle of the sea to catch fish. Plus, it would be impossible anyways.

And what else is more fun spending a week-end trip with family?

It’s also a perfect place to just stare at the endless horizon of the sea while allowing the waves to be the only sound echoing through. It’s simply magical and a wonderful breather.

And of course, it’s also a perfect place to take some pretty pose. After all, I’m on a vacation.


♥ ♥ ♥first time ♥ ♥ ♥

The dark sky was filled with spectacular views of infinite splash of bright colors and explosions, sounds that were indeed music to one’s ears for it gave a momentous relief and happiness to the people watching the magnificent, breath-taking play of fireworks.

February 14, 2010. The ever famous, tourist-studded Burnham Park was once again crowded with people from different places. People swarmed all over the place as different exciting fun and tricks welcomed them, offering ultimate get-away and extreme adventures. Amidst the ever busy crowd, the excitement and happiness are very evident to two people who, as other couples were, are spending the night trying to look for adventures, thrill and zest for the so called “valentine’s day.”

Food craze!
Regarded indispensable to every individual, these two people initiated their search for zest through munching on different blessings from the art of cooking—foot long hotdog sandwich, shawarma, ice creams and a lot more that the street could offer. Fortunately, love songs were aired through the place as the contestants for the “Baguio Got Talent 2010” showcased their God-given talent in singing. The mood was then set to a really romantic ambience. Then, as they stride for more adventures, these two people went on playing around. They exchanged naughty actions and really funny tricks on each other, fooling around, having so much fun. They were laughing and laughing until they were both grasping for breath. But the two did not content themselves. They went on and were lead to their next stop, bump cars!

Car voyage!
Powered up by their enthusiasm in cars and games, the two challenged each other on the bump car arena. For five, exciting minutes, they were fervently trying to crash each other up, eagerly trying to prove who the better driver is, or shall I say, more mischievous bumper. Engulfed with exhilaration, they stepped out of the bump cars; their faces were red and were laughing really hard as if they just won the race in a reality car showdown. Again, their escapade did not end there. Their next stop? Biking amusement!

Bikes, bikes, bikes. . .
Thrill engulfed their beings as excitement enters through their veins, both wanting and very eager to win the bicycle race. Fun… fun… fun… An hour of perspiration and breath grasping were nothing for these couple for as they race through the finish lines, their hearts race as well as if never wanting to stray far from each other anymore.

Now I am daunted with the question, “Are these really my first times?” or I have just put all the memories in the back of my head I had with my past that I am no longer able to remember those? Perhaps. But whatever it is, one thing is for sure, I am so happy with every single thing that is happening between us.

Bhabey, I may had some hesitations and little regrets for engaging myself to another relationship after the agony I had, but as you keep on showing and making me feel how happy and how sweet it is to love again, futile regrets will just be at the end of my list.

Happy 2nd monthsary… I love you… 🙂


A letter to Mr. Heartache

As I stare at my journal, I suddenly felt the urge to write you and finally disclose and free myself from unexplainable feelings for the past number of months that I have been suffering from.

For a year now, I am supposed to celebrate my first anniversary with him two days ago. I remember building dreams, wonderful, exciting dreams, about the coming of that supposed anniversary. I visualized a romantic get-away together, either to the mountains or to the beach. It could be both.

When we’re on our anniversary date, we’ll have a picnic—spread a cloth on the grasses, lie down and just cling to each other’s arms while butterflies fly back and forth around the flowers that surround us. Then we’ll hold hands as we build dreams together. Then at night, we tread along the shores of the beach, as we stride along, our fingers interlocked, we would feel the gentle caress of white sand on our bare feet.

As the sky unveils the dazzling billion stars, we would lie down and consume ourselves with the wonderful display of the mysterious sky. The stars would be shining through as if to say they are in one with us in our celebration. Then we’d fall asleep into each other’s arms, clinging all the tighter, as if never wanting to stray from each other anymore.

This, however, remained a dream, a mere dream.

For three months of being with him, I felt like a princess who finally found her prince charming. He held my hand and asked for me to join the journey with him to the wonders of love. Who was I to refuse anyway? I was more than happy to oblige.

In the course of our relationship, I can’t remember a single day that I regretted accepting him in my heart. Every day I spent with him was like magic, something unexpected after the fury I’ve been through from my past relationship. All the trips and crazy things we did brought nothing but laughter, our laughter that always echoed in my mind before I went to sleep and just as I woke up in the morning.

I was feeling too much overwhelmed with all the sweetness that he poured me and my heart just got too ecstatic to take it all. This was because I still can’t believe that I am finally feeling the “sweetness” of the other in a relationship. The feeling was alien. And it felt good. Really good.

I tried not to fall so deeply in love with him because I knew I can’t handle yetanother heart break after the ordeals I’ve been through. But as if all the elements in the universe connived, I was powerless.

My life, my everything, revolved around him. As if nothing else mattered but him alone. He became my first thought in the morning and my last at night fall. I missed him every single minute that went by even if we just departed. I longed to be hugged and kissed by him just as I wanted to keep him in sight. When he was away, my heart kept breaking.

I was imprisoned, locked in the vintage of his love. I then felt obliged to give everything to him. I did. It didn’t matter even if it seemed nothing was left to me because he became my everything.

But the connection passed as quickly as it came.

The love that I thought was there turned out to be just a lie. I thought he was my prince charming who will forever be at my side whenever things go astray. I thought he was the man who will not lie to me. But I was wrong and I was terribly wronged.

I felt the pang of pain and ate me continually. The twinge of hurt crept over me, killing me softly as if not wanting me to miss any detail of the pain. The pain felt like a million straight stabs in my heart. It was painful. It was . . . deadly.

I saw the red flags comin’ though. No matter how much my friends and that little voice inside me intervened to flag me down, I just ignored them. Totally. This, I realized, was because I was blinded by the love I thought was there to stay.

I did not understand why it all got messed up at first. My mind was clouded with questions and questions with answers that I was so scared to face. But as I tailor things up, it came to my senses that he always knew what he wants and when he wants it, he always know how to get it. I fell into his trap. Helpless me. I was like a bug circling around the light very much aware that I’d be caught but still persisted then boom! I was crushed into minute, ugly remnants.

Despite all the hurts, I pursued for a second chance then third, fourth, fifth. Hell, it was like forever giving rounds of second chances! It never worked out still.

While I was giving another venue for chances to keep standing tall for our relationship, the more I felt belittled. I forgot I should not be begging for love because love should come in the most natural way. Love isn’t for begging, it comes because everyone deserves one. While I was busy doing unnecessary things to bring things back together between us, I forgot all the people around me. They who never turned their back on me despite my stupidities. They who are always ready to give their love. They who loves me the most. They are my friends and my family. And I was unaware that I also deserted the most important person—MYSELF.

As I realize there were too many people whom I have hurt and forgotten because I was busy “getting back things together”, I felt the wound got deeper. It felt like rubbing salt on a very fresh wound.

It took me a long, hard time before finally figuring out that things aren’t the same anymore and that it will never be again, that I needed to stop trying.

I have to admit that it took me a lot of courage, a numerous hard hits on the head, and an ocean of tears before I was able to gather myself all back together again. It wasn’t as if I could flip a switch and suddenly change the way I felt. But things have to keep going.

I gave him everything and it felt like nothing was left for me to begin with. I’m glad that my brains never left me at all, though. And of course my family and friends.

It’s pretty unnerving to apprehend that we forget the people who are more important to us when we are blinded by what we thought is a real love but eventually will just turn our very nightmare.

Though my wounded heart is not yet perfectly mended, at least the wounds are getting healed. It’s leaving scars, scars that would always remind me of my painful past but at least it will always remain just a scar.

Our love story did not end like a “happily ever after” like I always wished to be, but I am pretty optimistic that somewhere out there, my prince is just waiting for me. In the right time and at the right place, that is.

And though it ended up all differently, I felt like I was still the one left behind, that I was the one who struggled with real feelings of loss in the aftermath. But I say, what’s the use of replaying the hard times anyway? I loved too much but it doesn’t, and will never, mean that I lost everything.

After all, before a princess finds her prince she has to kiss a lot of frogs, right?

Happy endings only happen to fairy tales, they say. But for me, I still believe in happy endings no matter what and that my prince charming will come along and we’ll live happily ever after.

Ordeals come our way to to give us a lesson, for us to become stronger and more discerning for the next time around. We get strangled so that we’ll know we need help. We get trapped so that we’ll know we have to be freed. And we get hurt for us to know we should learn to love our self foremost.

This time, I won’t bargain myself or heart short anymore.

And this time, I will learn to fall in love with. . .myself.

So to you Mr. Heartache, the show is over. It’s time to finally close the curtains. You made a great show and I was hooked. You were able to make me cry and believed in your show. With that, I give you a big applause. Thank you for everything. Thank you for the happiness you once brought me. Thank you for the pains for you made me realize that you are not the right prince for me, that I deserve someone else better other than a jerk like you.

Thank you for the great show. I learned a lot, seriously.

Mr. Heartache, it’s time to bid farewell.

Goodbye. . .


It sucks being single

It sucks being single. . . sometimes.

I hate the fact that while someone else’s heart is breaking, someone else is enjoying breaking hearts, too.

Unfortunately, I’m one of those “hearts are breaking” because I am single.

I don’t intend to broadcast to the whole damn world that I am single because it is not something worth bragging for. Not me. And to be honest, I feel terribly bad about it.

The fact that I don’t have someone to hold hands with while walking down the avenues or when exiting malls and movie houses make me churn in my stomach. Being single made me feel like I am alone in this wide, wild world. I don’t have someone who tells me that he misses me every single minute of every day; no one to curl up with on the sofa while giggling endlessly; no one to cuddle when you feel like having one; no one to open the coke’s bottle cap because you hardly can (or pretend not to); no one to tell you he loves you more than anything else in the world; no one to kiss you good night and good morning; and no one to talk with about your dream house, cars and how your wedding will go. No one.

As I scribble down the feelings of loss, because I am single (like I really have to keep reiterating this fact), I can’t help but shed another pail of tears looking back to how and why my relationship with him (and all the others) turned the way I least expected. And the burning sensation in my chest is creeping in up to my throat that I can hardly breathe.

Walking home alone for several months now, I felt that half of me was missing, that I am somehow incomplete without a man. My pathetic feelings are being heightened when I see couples sitting on the benches or walking holding hands, their faces animated as if they are the luckiest and happiest couples on Earth. People are on the go, people moving forward in life. As I stare at them (sometimes intentionally), I was filled with envy and wondered whether I would ever be able to look as animated as they are ever again.

I remember that I even stalked on my exes’ FB accounts to check on their status. I wanted to know if they are still going good with his new girl or if they have broke up already (and everyone knows how much I wanted for their relationship to crash!). I checked his status almost every day. And when I see their photos together, utterly sweet, looking so much in-love, I kept feeling that familiar burning-in-the-chest feeling. With all the courage I can fetch, I blocked him as my friend both in FB and FS because I realized I am just hurting myself more. It wasn’t easy, but I did it and eventually I am feeling great.

Curious if I am the only one feeling oddly empty, I asked some of my friends how and what they feel about being single and here are their responses:

C– I’m happy but most of the time I miss him and the idea of having no boyfriend makes me feel like I am so much at loss.

K– Well it’s pretty much fun especially when you are with your friends because you can freely do whatever you want. No one to stalk you around. But sometimes, when I am alone I suddenly keep feeling how much I miss being held in his hands and how much I miss sharing weekends with him.

B- I was able to go out almost every night with friends without the worry of being asked where and what I did. But sometimes, I also miss being interrogated like she cared for me so much that she wanted me to keep on her sight.

Have you noticed a pattern on their answers? Being single is happy but… The “but” word is always there.

I, myself, am happy being single but at times I felt raged about it. It is human nature, I guess, that we long for someone to be always around when things are not in its place, that we always need company.

However, being single also means freedom. While being single deprived me from having someone to cuddle with or kiss or hold hands with, for me, it gave me the very chance to renew my relationship with the people whom I have forgotten (unintentionally) when I am in a relationship. I have strengthened my faith in God as well. And these, I believe, are far more important than focusing all your time and love to someone who will just bring you nightmares in the end. The most important thing that innately happens is that I learned (and still learning) to love myself utmost. And the feeling is extremely rewarding and overwhelming.

Singlehood might mean emptiness and loneliness but if we take it the other way around, it will mean freedom and contentment. I have to focus on the future, not the past, because that’s the only part that’s still up for grabs. He left me? Then I have to keep working and moving on or I’ll end up crazy.

I admit I miss having a man in my life but it doesn’t mean I can’t live without a man. I vowed that this time, I will learn to love myself more. This is because I want to be much more ready when I enter another relationship. Despite the brave act that I am putting on to this blog, I have to admit that I am still scared. But admitting that you are scared will also mean to be your very shield when you go out for a battle once more.

Like what Nicholas Sparks said in one of his novels, life is not fair. And that’s just it. But more than that, I learned that it’s possible to go on, no matter how impossible it seems, and that in time, the grief… lessens. It might never go away completely, but after a while it’s not overwhelming.

My journey to loving myself more is not an easy road. It’s taking me a lot of courage, adjustments, beliefs, and confidence to push me to being a woman who will always be confident about herself. I long for a relationship that won’t entail me to shortchange myself just to fill his cup of expectations, and I deserve to have one.

Love should bring joy, it should grant a person peace, but here and now, it was bringing only pain. So I need to learn how to be confident about myself. I need to learn how to feel complete even without him, that I can walk outside with chin up saying “I am single but I am happy.” And maybe pause for a while and say, “Next please!”

So to all the single ladies out there, I raise a glass for a toast—for freedom and bliss and gloom. We deserve only the best of the bests. Cheers!


Pestering “what ifs”

It’s a daily struggle to reinvent myself. From my previous notes, I talked about letting go and learning to love myself more alongside gaining self-confidence and feeling totally complete even without the company of a man. But as I tread along, I am being plagued with questions and doubts that seem never to give up on pestering my mind.

As I write this article, I am not even sure which thing I really want to talk about. Lately, I have been having a lot of things to put in black and white or upload in my blog. And because there were too many thoughts that keep going past my mind, I end up writing nothing at all.

This, I realized, is because I have been struggling with all the “what if” monsters that I am uncertain of answers or questions with answers I actually am scared to acknowledge.

Whether I am in a relationship or still dating, I am unconsciously inundated with infinite “what ifs” that either keep me shortchanging myself or totally stay away from.

During my past relationships, the common questions that always plagued me were:

“What if we won’t last for long?”

“What if he will get tired of me?”

“What if he will be disappointed about me because I talk a lot and I laugh so loud?”

“What if his ‘first love’ shows up and confess she also loves him too and eventually will choose her over me or over the years/months we spent together?”

“What if I am never good enough for him?”

On the other hand, when I am dating or knowing someone who shows interest to me, I also have a bunch of “what ifs” in no way I can help but get scared the more.

“What if I wasn’t able to impress him during our first date? Would he call or text me again?”

“What if he’ll just be ‘another guy’ who’ll break my heart in the end, too?”

“What if he will see me as ‘just another girl’ and won’t give me the respect and love I deserve?”

“What if he only wants a kiss and no more than that?”

And another long line of “what ifs”. . .

Pestered by these ‘what iffing’, I usually end up shortchanging myself. Every time, I become less and less confident about myself. Along the way, I’m losing the essence of what being in a relationship should be. Have I ever known it anyway?

On a date or when I am with someone, I should feel carefree and just be myself—no deliberate plans to impress him, no trying hard for a seductive-induced haze, no conscious minutes about my lipstick being smudged or my make-up being worn off, and no hidden meanings in every word that I spoke of. Nor should I be obliged to wear sexy, revealing clothes just to feed his wandering eyes.

I realized that my past relationships have never been healthy at all. Sure I was able to stand a six-year relationship. But have I grown matured in love in the course of that relationship? I’m quite not sure. From this, I learned that love is not based on how much time you have spent with each other. It is not measured on how many ‘sweet kisses’, dates and laughter you both shared. Nor it can be gauged on how many times you kissed and made up. If that’s the case, then why is it that this kind of relationship keeps crashing? Most of all, love should not require one to change him/herself to the extent of losing the way you were or much so, losing your self-confidence.

Love, I have come to understand, is more than three words that are being mused to each other every now and then. Love is something you don’t have to beg for. Love should mean growing up in each other’s arms and not growing old with all the pains inflicted along. Love should not confuse you from saying ‘I love you’ before bedtime to saying ‘I love you’ sustained by a pattern of devotion. Love is a very special thing to be shared with someone who can be a reflection of exactly who you are.

My experiences in the past have brought me dreadful memories. Sure it brought me a momentary wake of happiness and bliss but why is it that I always end up being hurt?

This journey of learning to love myself more is bringing so many realizations in my life and a few universal truths. I learned, for instance, that hugs, kisses and ‘I love yous’ are not a passport to a lasting relationship or at least to a not painful ending.

People come and go in our life and it’s a natural thing. The least we can do is to be always ready when the time of departure comes. And we can only be ready to this episode if we learn how to love ourselves utmost.

We entered this life alone and we exit life alone, too.

I know that when I equip myself with confidence, I can go through life no matter what. Whatever happens to my next love story, I’ll be damn sure I will be ready to embrace it. And when that dashing gentleman comes along to swoop in and steal my heart away, even if the “what if” monsters come with their wide, scary faces, I know I’ll be just fine.


Knock me off my feet: Mr. Charmer

It took me a couple of months before finally completing this post because every time I try to start writing about this, I find myself groping for words. And for a person who was born with a pen in her hand, this is something out of the ordinary.

As I recount my relationship with Mr. Charmer, running out of words seem equally fitting.

Like my favorite blogger said, “We all have that guy in our lives. The one we meet in some peculiar way and instantly, our whole world comes crashing down around us. Each barrier we set up to keep our hearts and bodies safe is utterly destroyed, and suddenly, we’re standing there exposed and vulnerable to any and every charm this man throws our way.”

And as peculiar as it was, Mr. Charmer and I met when I was in my second year in college, the year when I first experienced the life at night in the city. Prior to our bar hopping, I and my cousin first went to meet her friends in a certain bar, somewhere scary and smoky (I thought it’s scary ‘coz you can barely recognize people’s faces and all that’s visible are cigarette smokes). As a usual scenario in places like those, people (men) would come sit next to you and do that well-rehearsed introduction of them and end up exchanging numbers and getting you a bottle of beer. That time, I was texting with friend M and told her the name of this man who’s so persistent in talking to me. At the mention of the name, Mreplied with a surprised disbelief: “What?! Mr. Charmer?!” Oh no. I said. Their names are just sound-alike. But the one M was referring to was a person I never heard of. Yet.

We went to another bar. While I was dancing in the middle of everybody else, a man with a nose and big goofy grin with a 5’9” frame came dancing close to me. He told me his name and I was as surprised as what my friend M’s reaction was. “What?! Mr. Charmer?!” and this guy was utterly surprised as well on how I came to know his name. “It’s a long story,” I said. But with that sheepish grin he had, I can say he got really, really interested. He asked for my phone number.

For several days, we exchanged text messages and dated for some time. After a week or two, I was totally hooked. During that time, we were still both in a relationship. But for whatever reason, we just fell into each other’s arms very, very naturally. The way he wrapped his arms around me was very passionate like the way he kissed me. But after some months, we decided to part ways and since then we went back to our own worlds.

After a couple of years, just in time when I and S broke up, I was walking down an overpass, my face drifting blankly, then out of the blue, we bumped into each other. Love struck, he let out that smile which always melted me away. Then we ended exchanging mobile numbers again since we both had lost connection since the last time we saw each other.

Two months after my break-up with S, Mr. Charmer and I went dating again. And everything between us fell into places as natural as the blinking of an eye.

Since I never really forgot about him, I fell for him as easy as I did when we first met. He had this natural charm that made me swoon over him. He was sweet, funny, fit and sporty, tall, with friends everywhere, he was open and he was damn good-looking. He knew exactly when to talk and when to listen. And after a series of dates, I found out he was still a great kisser. And even though, I was still hesitant to enter another relationship after my dreadful break up, he held me very gently, kissed my forehead, looked at me in the eyes and said, “I promise I won’t hurt you.”

For months, we enjoyed our relationship with so much passion and sweetness. We spent almost every day going to places, watching movies, cooking together, walking and talking up to the wee hours in the morning. We simply can’t get enough of each other. The love between us grew effortlessly, passionately, and burning with energy that neither of us can deny. It was very… natural.

When he kissed me, the world around me literally stopped and I can literally hear my heart beat. His touch turned my knees into jelly. His smile and the way he looked at me sent butterflies inevitably, crazily bouncing in my stomach. His effect on me was… addictive… so captivating… and I became less and less powerful around him.

Everything seemed very perfect between us. We shared each other’s failures and successes. We cried and laughed together. He supported every endeavor I was in. He came when I needed someone to burst all my angst and depressions. Literally, he was always around.

But the world suddenly turned upside down between us. He became suddenly cold and unusually unaffectionate. Before, he would always find reasons to escape from his usual getaways with his friends just to be with me but it suddenly became the opposite. And the thing I always feared that’ll happen came straight to my face.

He was seeing someone else.

For a couple of months, our relationship became hot and cold, steady and frail. I chose to stay and believed in his promises even though every sign were vividly obvious that something fishy was going on. I came to the point when I grew tired of the cycle—this week, he’s mine and the following week he’s hers. The cycle was vicious… and painful. I asked him to choose between us but he said he can’t, he won’t and he preferred not to.

I gave a month for the two of us to get ourselves fixed and settle whatever mess is going on between us. I didn’t want our relationship to crash, nor to lose him in my life. When I thought everything was getting better between us, I settled for another chance and neither between us talked about the other party. We tried to get the pieces back together and once again surrendered in his arms. We were already doing well until one day…

…pictures of him and the gal paraded his FB account plus consistent posts of sweet nothings between them. I didn’t know how to react about it at first. The sight of it felt like a million stab in my heart and made me feel like I am the biggest fool in the entire universe. I felt devastated. I felt betrayed and belittled because at the course of those events, we were still going out and all I thought we were already back in the water. But for the nth time around, I was wrong.

After my break up with S, I told myself to be more careful whenever I get smitten with another dashing man. But when I fell in love with Mr. Charmer, I found myself very powerless around him. He became my top priority. His needs became supreme while mine became secondary. I unconsciously deserted other people around me. My world revolved around him. He became my everything. Even though the pain constantly tortured and daunted me with countless nights of crying over the mess going on, I simply couldn’t leave because I was afraid that all the love I tried hard to build and keep between us might just go to waste. Or was I just smitten with the idea of his promises?

Until it dawned on me that I had no other option left but to finally let go.

With all the courage I can fetch, I decided to shut off my communications with him. It was the least I can think of to start moving on. I changed my number. I deleted him on my FB and FS accounts. I restrained from texting him. And I stopped stalking on his FB account. It wasn’t really easy. But somehow, cutting the connections between us helped a lot in taking me back to my senses.

We did not formally end our relationship but I know (and knew) we were leading to nowhere anymore. I still miss him and maybe still love him at that, but there’s no more turning back, even if I want to. If I once again let my obsession rule over me, it will only mean welcoming another heart break. If ever my heart breaks again, I’d wish it won’t be from the same man. I’d be a fool if I returned to a relationship which did far more harm to me than it did good.

For the first time in year, I felt my love for him felt somehow… wrong.

He was a good man though. I won’t ever forget the happiness that he once brought me nor the love we shared. For five-long months, he helped me through some difficult times and he showed how much proud he was to me. But things between us did not work out the way I wished them to be. It entails tons of courage to finally walk away and it wasn’t really easy. But it is indeed possible.

This morning, when I looked in the mirror, I saw a reflection of a woman who is far more confident than she was with Mr. Charmer—more vibrant, more beautiful, stronger, and happier and is surrounded with people who really cares about her.

And every time I look back, I heave a sigh of relief realizing that in a very long time, I had the feeling that I was right where I am supposed to be.

I might have been a fool for allowing myself to be hurt by the same man over and over again but at least I came out a very different person, the person I always wanted to be. After all, the pains he inflicted me taught me to love myself more and there is no greater love than self-love.

Mr. Charmer was an incredible person who effortlessly knocked-me-off my feet. I just hope that when he remembers our times together he still smiles. I wish him nothing else but happiness and contentment in life. And as for myself, I am already getting to where I want to be—success in my profession, love of my family and friends, getting to places I love to go, meeting new, different people and enjoying constantly falling in love with myself.

 (Thanks to one of my favorite bloggers who inspired me to finally come up with this post. I owe some exact words to her as she was able to completely define what I felt about this certain relationship)


Not just another Valentine’s Day

February 14. Valentine’s Day or St. Valentin’s Day. Day of hearts. Day of lovers. A day to send flowers, cards or cakes. A day to ask someone special for a date. Most likely than not, you can see couples or individuals wearing red shirts to expressa ”hearty-heart” day. For anti V-day fanatics, they wear anything black. And for some

, they call it “Single Awareness Day.”

But for me? It’s a very special day to once again renew our relationship with our loved ones.

While some people would say that Valentine’s Day is no big deal because love should be shown or expressed every day and not just on this day, we have to admit that Valentine’s Day is a venue for letting us realize that we should remember the people we truly love and care for.

Every day, we go on with our busy and toxic routines, may it be in school or office. When we miss our love ones, we simply send them a text message, call them or post on their FB walls or even forget sometimes. I, myself, have been doing these. This thing became so usual that I can no longer feel its thoughtfulness. I realized that we really are already living in a virtual world, which I have nothing against, by the way.

So amidst my busy schedules, I spent one whole night sitting on my table with my lovely, feathery pen and black and white cards. I listed down all the people who are very special to me. Those people who have touched my heart. They who never fail to let me know that I can always turn to whenever things go astray. They who are painting colors to my life. They who are helping me complete the puzzles of life. And they whom I can reflect myself in one way or another.

And because I love words so much, I wrote them brief but very meaningful and honest thoughts. To make it more exciting and more thoughtful, instead of relying to the virtual world, I used snail mail. I sent those cards a week before Valentine’s Day with the hope to reach its recipients on time. As I sent my mails from the post office, I felt a sudden leap in my heart which says, “old school rocks”.

On the other hand, since I am a party lover, I asked my girlfriends for a group date on Valentine’s Day. On the night of February 14, we went to a resort where we enjoyed fantastic splash in the pool plus a sumptuous feast of foods and a rocking concert on a videoke. What else is more enjoyable that a party night out with girlfriends who are equally gorgeous, hot and free-spirited? I can’t think of any other else.

The night before Valentine’s Day I was rushed to the infirmary because of allergy reactions where my whole body swelled and insanely itchy and pimples sprouted like mushrooms in my forehead plus a tragic event after our get-away to the resort (I leave that for another post). Nonetheless, I have to say that my Valentine’s Day was the superb ever get away! And every day since Valentine’s Day, I received countless greetings in my mobile phone inbox, FB wall and e-mail. And to my surprise, one of my girlfriends gave me a bouquet while the others cooked me a lavish brunch.

So who says Valentine’s Day is just another day? Not me. Because mine simply rocks!